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Almost nobody asks a busy owner, "What will you do on a random Tuesday when you're 70?"
My grandmother asked me about my money first. "So what's your retirement plan?" is a question about dollars. But the longer I sit with it, the more I think the dollar question has a partner. Before you can size a number, you need to know what the number is for. This is a short piece about the life behind the plan, especially for owners who have tied their identity to their work.
Why start with a life instead of a number?
Because a number with no picture behind it is a guess.
If I tell you to save for retirement and you ask, "How much?", the honest answer starts with "it depends on what you want to do." Travel, a hobby farm, a workshop, teaching, volunteering or simply quiet mornings all carry different costs and different needs. The money is a tool. The life is the point.
The owner's particular problem
When you build a business from nothing, work becomes more than income. It becomes identity, structure and social life. That's a gift when you're building. It can become a trap at the exit, because stopping can feel like disappearing.
Building an identity beyond work is not disloyalty to the business. It is the part of the plan that no account can fund for you.
Three traps I would watch for
- Assuming it will sort itself out. Free time feels easy to fill until you have a lot of it.
- Planning only the finish line. A date and a number say nothing about what the days contain.
- Leaving the people out. Plans about money are easy to share. Plans about who you'll spend time with are harder, so they get skipped.
What does the data say about how days change?
The Bureau of Labor Statistics' American Time Use Survey gives a quiet but telling picture. In 2023, people ages 55 to 64 spent an average of 4.02 hours a day working and related activities and 5.18 hours on leisure and sports. For ages 65 to 74, work fell to 1.42 hours and leisure rose to 6.71. For ages 75 and over, work was 0.37 hours and leisure was 7.57.1
Those are averages across everyone in the age group, not a forecast for you, and "leisure" includes things like watching TV. Still, the shape is clear: as work recedes, hours open up. You can leave them to chance or you can decide what goes in them.
What do the best retirements seem to have in common?
I can't promise you the answer, and no one can. But one of the longest studies of human life offers a clue. The Harvard Study of Adult Development, summarized in the Harvard Gazette, reports that close relationships, more than money or fame, are what keep people happy throughout their lives. Robert Waldinger is quoted in the article saying the people most satisfied in their relationships at age 50 were the healthiest at age 80.2
Close relationships, more than money or fame, are what keep people happy throughout their lives.
That does not say retirement will be happy if you have friends. It says people, not purchases, tend to carry the weight. Work gives many owners their community without them noticing. Plan where that community comes from when work doesn't.
How do you rehearse retirement while you're still working?
By treating your free time as a lab.
- Write the Tuesday. Describe a perfect ordinary weekday ten or twenty years out, hour by hour. Include who you're with.
- Pick three experiments. Choose hobbies or commitments that appeal and start one this quarter. You learn fast what you actually enjoy versus what you merely admire.
- Price each one. Equipment, travel, memberships and fees add up. Write the real annual cost beside each activity.
- Build people, not just projects. Join a group, a class or a volunteer team where the relationships don't depend on your business.
- Revisit every year. What you want will change. Update the picture, then update the plan.
Hobbies are also line items
A hobby that costs almost nothing and one that costs a lot lead to very different retirements. Neither is wrong. What matters is that you know which one you are planning for, and that you're building toward the real cost, not an imaginary one.
What questions surface the real picture?
Try answering these on paper, without a spreadsheet.
- What did I enjoy before the business took over? Old interests often come back.
- What would I do if money were not the question, and what would that cost? Be specific.
- Where do I want to live, and near whom? Location shapes cost and community.
- What gives me a sense of contribution outside of income? Teaching, serving and mentoring all count.
- What would I regret not having tried? Put one of those on the calendar this year.
Share your answers with the people in your plan. A spouse or close friend may see something you've missed, and they'll need to be part of the life you're describing.
Where does mindset come in?
In how you hold the work you're doing now.
If your identity lives entirely in the business, the day it changes will feel like loss. If you also have a gratitude practice, like the one I describe in gratitude as an operating system, you carry something with you that doesn't depend on revenue. I'm not saying it makes the transition easy. I'm saying it gives you somewhere to stand.
So how does the number fit back in?
Once you have a picture, the number gets sharper. You can talk to a licensed professional about a real lifestyle with real costs, instead of a vague wish. According to the Fed's 2023 survey, 80 percent of retirees said they were doing at least okay financially, which tells me many people do get there.3 The ones who plan the life as well as the money give themselves the best shot.
If you haven't started with the foundations, begin at the Investing and Retirement hub, then come back and write your Tuesday.
Educational content, not financial, tax, legal or investment advice. Talk to a licensed professional about your situation.
Keep building.Ekai
Questions people ask
How do I plan what to do in retirement?
Start with how you want ordinary days to feel, not with a dollar figure. List the activities, people and purposes you want, then try them while you are still working so you learn what you enjoy.
How much time do older adults spend on leisure?
The Bureau of Labor Statistics American Time Use Survey for 2023 found people ages 65 to 74 spent 6.71 hours a day on leisure and sports, and people 75 and over spent 7.57 hours, compared with 4.40 hours for ages 45 to 54.
Do relationships matter in retirement?
The Harvard Study of Adult Development has found that close relationships, more than money or fame, are what keep people happy throughout their lives.
Why do hobbies matter for retirement planning?
Hobbies shape your daily costs, your social life and your sense of purpose, which affects both how much you need and how well you live.
Sources
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